


I'll Wait Forever for You

by haikyuuobsessor



Series: Tugging of the Heart [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, I'm really sorry, I'm serious this is angst McAngst, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-27 03:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 18,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8385295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikyuuobsessor/pseuds/haikyuuobsessor
Summary: They say if you love someone, you fight for them.But, they also say that if you love someone, you'd let them go.





	1. Chapter 1

“Tsukishima, I need to tell you something.” Tsukishima looked at Kageyama who was staring at the ground, avoiding his gaze with a voice that was too wary for him to not feel worry.

“What is it?” Instead of answering, Kageyama handed him a letter which Tsukishima took and read its content. As he reached the end of it, he was smiling broadly and couldn’t be more proud of his boyfriend for getting chosen to be on Japan’s National Volleyball Team. He hugged the setter and congratulated him but was only replied with silence and the other boy  was clearly stiff under his arms. He pushed himself back and looked at Kageyama, searching for his favorite pair of blue eyes.

“Hey, this is great news, right? Why aren’t you more excited? Isn’t this your dream since forever?” Tsukishima said in a low and calm voice trying to decipher his boyfriend’s strange behavior. Suddenly, Kageyama’s eyes started to water and he blinked a few times to make the tears go away but made it worse because the next thing he knew, he was sobbing.

“I-I do. B-But…” He managed to say between hiccups. Tsukishima was getting worried and wiped the tears on Kageyama’s face carefully and kissed his forehead. Took the shorter male a few seconds to compose himself, then he breathed in deeply and looked into Tsukishima’s eyes. There were still glint of tears on the bridge of his eyes.

“The training is going to be held in United States and if I decided to make it my life career, I’ll stay there for years maybe getting some few breaks where I can come home again. And - oh man.” He balled his fist into his eyes as he felt himself breaking down again. Tsukishima just embraced him tightly, stroking his back to calm him down.

“I love you Tsukishima.” He pushed himself as they both stared at each other. It’s not the first time he professes his love to Tsukishima, but it still managed to make his heart stutter.

“The last thing I want is to break up with you.”

“Whoa, hey slow down. Who said anything about breaking up?” Tsukishima finally said after listening attentively and comforting his boyfriend.

“But, it’s not going to work. I’m not even in Japan anymore, and I don’t even know when I would have the time to see you and I can’t make you follow me there when your future is here.” Tsukishima had landed a job with a well-known company for its ability to create machineries and even develop technology that could change the way mankind live in the future with the use of artificial intelligence (AI) and what better place to have a career in technology and AI than in Japan itself.

“And I-I can’t make you wait for me Tsukishima.” He said in a low voice, hands limping on his sides. Tsukishima placed a hand under his chin and pushed his head up so they were looking into each other’s eyes again. He closed their gap with a long smooth peck on Kageyama’s lips and it took everything in Kageyama to make sure he didn’t cry again when his boyfriend was being so gentle with him. Oh, how he loved the other male so much that the thought of them not being together hurts him more than anything he ever felt. They parted after what felt like forever and Tsukishima gave Kageyama a reassuring smile.

“Are you done talking?” Kageyama nodded.

“Good, I know you’re King but you know better to not decide these things without me actually telling you how I feel. I get that you’re being considerate when you’re saying that you don’t want to make me wait, but I want to wait, King. I want to wait for you and I will.” He linked their fingers together and stroked Kageyama’s hand soothingly just as how the setter always liked it. “Because Tobio, there’s no one in this world I’d rather be with than with you.” He said in a low voice as he smiled seeing the light coming back into Kageyama’s eyes as he grinned happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hoped that the max for this fic is 20 chapters, I have a history of not following my own plot lines and it was a bad idea. So, please bear with me. 
> 
> Thanks for reading you lovely peeps. Hope you have a wonderful day wherever you are. And heads up, the next chapters won't be as nice as this one.
> 
> As always, comments and feedback are very much appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

The airport was packed with relatives, reporters and fans swarming around the nation’s volleyball team. The flight schedule was kept a secret within the players and some related people, but somehow the media found out and now fans were lining up at the airport’s entrance being blocked by security as to avoid more chaos inside. It ticked Tsukishima off even more the way the girls shrieked his boyfriend’s name like a bunch of senseless idiots. They weren’t exactly public about their relationship but everyone knew that the setter was already in a relationship. _So, maybe the girls should back the fu-_

“Is everything okay?” Kageyama asked as he looked towards what was getting Tsukishima’s attention only to see that he was looking at the crowd outside with a stare that could kill.

“Yeah. Is everything on your side okay?” He turned his gaze away from the crowd to look at Kageyama as the setter sat down next to him.

“Yeah, technically everything is good. I guess. But emotionally, not so much.” He took the former Karasuno’s middle blocker’s hand and held it tightly. Tsukishima just chuckled as Kageyama leaned on the crooked of his neck. He could see camera flashes flickering from outside but right now he couldn’t care any less. His boyfriend was going away and he doesn’t even know when they’ll be able to see each other again. Physically.

“We talked about this before.”

“I know, but it doesn’t make it any less suck than it already is.” Tsukishima nudge his shoulder a bit and Kageyama looked at him. Without any signs, he felt something on his lips which he then realized that Tsukishima was kissing him, in public, not that he's complaining, so he closed his eyes and enjoyed the contact.

“Okay, we don’t need another tear sobbing drama happening, so could the both of you please stop, that’ll be very much appreciated” Hachiro interrupted their kiss and they looked around to see what the captain of Japan’s National Volleyball team meant when he said _another_ and landed on Nishinoya clinging onto Asahi as his hands and feet were wrapped around the older’s shoulder and waist respectively. As expected, it’s not the smaller of the two that was sobbing, but the former ace was but Noya was seen with tear streaks on his cheeks. At least it’s good to know that they weren’t the only two having to face this. Maybe Kageyama can seek Nishinoya’s help whenever in doubt and Tsukishima can seek Asahi’s help. But from the scene right now, he’s pretty sure if he were to seek help from the giant, it would be him reassuring the older male instead of the other way around.

“Okay everyone, we should get going. Say your goodbyes now.” Suddenly, Tsukishima’s heart clenched and started to beat faster. He knew that this moment would come. He knew it. He readied himself for it. Gosh, to think that he was the one that told Kageyama that they discussed about this earlier but ended up feeling the exact same thing Kageyama felt just now. _Shit._ They were still holding hands and he doesn’t want to let go. _Damn it._ It wasn’t supposed to go this way. He was stronger than this. Then, he felt a hand holding his face. He opened his eyes to see Kageyama giving him a sad smile. _Don’t Tobio, don’t look at me like that. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it._

The next thing he knew, they were both hugging each other and screw everyone around them right now because they couldn’t hold back their tears anymore. They held each other in one another’s arms, clinging as if the other is the other one’s lifeline.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be the strong one here. Bu-

“Don’t be. At least I know you’d missed me just as much I would be missing you.” They locked lips another time not caring how gross it felt or even looked like from an outsider’s perspective with tears still rolling down their cheeks.

“Silly King, of course I’ll miss you. Geesh, okay. If we keep on doing this, you’re gonna miss your flight.” He wiped his face, hoping that he looked at least half as decent as when he got to the airport and helped cleaned Kageyama’s face. He took the shorter male’s face with both his hands to look at him. Truly appreciating the beauty of his fair skin, deep blue eyes, small nose and his lush lips. Oh man, he’s gonna miss this piece of art in front of him so much.

Kageyama was the one to close their gap. It didn't involve any tongue or teeth but he lingered their lips together longer than usual making it more intimate simultaneously indicating that it’ll be the last kiss they’ll ever give each other for who knows how long and parted what seemed like mere seconds to Tsukishima. He wanted to keep the contact longer but he knew he couldn’t. Because the longer they stay, the harder it is to say goodbye. So, he reluctantly let go of the blue-eyed male’s hands and watched his back as he went through the gate to his plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter, hopefully by the weekend I have finished all the supposed 20 chapters.
> 
> Thanks for reading peeps and comments, feedback are always welcome. Hell, tell me even if you hate it, I'd still be happy about it.


	3. Chapter 3

During the first few weeks, they talked to each other every day. Finding the slightest gap possible to intersect their busy schedules and what with the time differences. But then, when Tsukishima called Kageyama when he came home from work, the setter was still sleeping or when Kageyama had a 5-minute break from practice, Tsukishima’s already at work. They kept on missing each other and it frustrates them more than anything. Not that because the other was busy, but because they couldn’t do anything to change it. So, they created a system and agreed on calling each other on each Friday when Kageyama comes back from training while Tsukishima was enjoying his day off on Saturday. They would clear their schedule or decline any plans from their peers during that time, because it’s the only time they could have a conversation and still keep this thing they called a romantic relationship.

They texted each other all the time of course, at least that didn’t require both of their schedule to be completely open at the same time to receive or send messages. They could text each other anytime, even if they knew that the other one was still sleeping or busy, they wouldn’t get offended if the other replied their text late.

Their system worked, they talked to each other every week. Texted even about things as insignificant as buying a new pair of socks. But when the fifth month comes in, that’s when their relationship starts getting rocky.

 

* * *

 

Tsukishima sighed as his call wasn’t picked up for the 12th times. He looked at the watch on his wrist, a watch Kageyama had sent him when he first arrived at Chicago, and the time was 12.49 pm. So, Kageyama was 10.49 pm there and should have finished his training half an hour ago. If this was the first time, he might’ve brushed it off as Kageyama doing extra practice like he always does and forgetting the time and their system. _Which was ridiculous, because it was_ their _system. He should remember them._ But it wasn’t the first time. He didn’t even know how many times. First, yeah he said he forgot as he was busy with training. Then, he cancelled their call date saying that it’s one of their teammates birthday but he promised he’d make it up to Tsukishima and the next thing the blonde knew there was a new TV set delivered to their house with a note saying

_So that you can see me better when I play ;P_

_P.S. I’m really sorry_

The next it was Tsukishima who slept through their call as he was working on a project that was due on that Saturday morning. Tsukishima and a bunch of his coworkers didn’t sleep for days and when they finally submitted their work, they were all more than happy to come home to their comfortable beds except for Tsukishima. He had to force himself not to enter his bedroom because he knew he would fall asleep the minute he stepped into the room, so he sat on the couch waiting for Kageyama to call him, but unfortunately his exhaustion got the best of him and he fell asleep sitting on the couch. When he woke up, there were more than a dozen missed calls from Kageyama. As he texted the setter to explain himself, Kageyama was forgiving saying that they’ll talk next week.

Tsukishima’s train of thoughts were interrupted when his incoming call tone rang and he immediately answered it.

“Kageyama?”

“Hey Tsukishima, I need to tell you something.”


	4. Chapter 4

His whole world fell around him when he heard those words. During the beginning of their initial meeting, he knew how demanding and annoying the King of the Court could get. But he grew out of it when they started dating each other. There were the casual banters and some sassy retorts but nothing painful. However, his heart was broken as Kageyama Tobio told him the one thing he didn’t want to hear.

“I’m sorry, Tsukishima. I don’t think this is working anymore. I don’t think _we_ work anymore. We should just end whatever this is.” There were so many things he’d wanted to ask him, so many things he could say to persuade Kageyama that they were fine, yes they have the distance issue, but overall they were fine. _They were fine, right?_ He could and would say all those things. But what stopped him was Kageyama’s voice. It’s like the male on the other line was void of emotions. Yes, Kageyama always had a problem expressing his feelings but this… this was not those usual tones. It’s sounded like he really was over it. Over their relationship. The way he said Tsukishima’s name doesn’t have the same feel to it as it always did before. How Tsukishima would hear the fondness, or gentleness or the sexiness when Kageyama said his name before. This was different. This was … wrong. This wasn’t Kageyama. He gathered all the guts he had left in him to say something. Anything.

“No, Tobio. We - I- you’re just stressed with training. Y-yes that’s it. We’re fine. All long-distance relationship couples would have to encounter this moment of doubt. But hey we’re still good.” His voice was shaking and he really hoped that Kageyama would take his words.

“No, Tsukishima. We’ve tried. But it’s not working anymore. We haven’t spoken to each other for weeks-

“But we’re speaking now.”

“Yeah we are, but-

“Tobio, we’ll be fine. We’ve managed this far out, we could do it for anoth-

“We’re not fine Tsukishima!” Kageyama shouted and it took Tsukishima by surprise. He wanted to hear an emotion from the other male, but this wasn’t the emotion he was seeking for.

“We’re not fine at all! Yeah we managed this far. But how long more do I have to keep on doing this. I’m dying over here. I-I can’t. This is just too much. You told me that we were gonna be fine, but I’m not fine. It’s not fine at all. Oh man. I hate it. I -

“Then what about me? How do you think I feel? Do you think I’m fine over here? I missed you every day, all the time. I’m hurting too, but I willed myself because I said I’ll wait for you and I’ll be damn that’s the last thing I’ll do!”

“Tsukishima, - shit. I didn’t want to end it like this. I hate that we’re fighting and I really am sorry. I suggest you start seeing other people. I’m -

He hung up the call. He couldn’t bear it. How dare he told him to go see someone else like their relationship was some sort of plaything that he could stop loving and get a new one when he’s bored of it. He was in so much pain right now but he couldn’t muster himself any energy to cry. He was too tired. Too exhausted. Yeah, that’s probably it. Maybe it was just a dream, or a nightmare to be precise. Maybe if he just goes to sleep and wakes up tomorrow morning, he’d know that it’s just a nightmare. A horrible nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know I'm sorry. I really am. And I have no idea why I always wanted to write KageTsuki angst so badly even though it breaks my heart at the same time.
> 
> You can shout to me in the comments and we can lament together.


	5. Chapter 5

Tsukishima was woken up by the ringing of the bell. He grunted and just covered his ears with a pillow hoping that whoever was outside his house right now would give up and go away. Unfortunately for him, his visitor was persistent, so he dragged himself out of the bed and to the door. He opened it roughly making it bounced off the wall and almost causing the door to shut back but a quick hand grabbed the door before it could close on him.

“Well someone’s cranky in the morning”

“Shut up, everyone’s cranky when you disturb their sleep. You’re just lucky I don’t stab you with a knife instead.” Tsukishima went to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. If he must deal with this person this early in the morning during one of his day offs, he needs caffeine and black.

“So, why the hell are you here, Kuroo?” He asked, getting more alert after a few sips of his coffee.

“Seriously dude, couldn’t you get any bitchier than that?” To that, Tsukishima headed to his room and planned on locking himself in it until this trash gets out of his house. But before he could reach the door to his room, Kuroo stepped in front of him with an apologetic smile.

“I’m kidding Tsukki. Oh come on, it’s just a break up man. Everyone goes th-

“What?!” _What break up? What was he? Oh wait. The nightmare yesterday._ Then something clicked in Tsukishima’s head. _Shit. Oh no. Oh no._ Suddenly he fell on his knees, hyperventilating as he recalled the last conversation that he had with Kageyama. And no, it was not a dream, because it was Sunday morning, if it was a dream he should be waking up on a Saturday morning and will be waiting to call the other male at noon just like he always did for the past 5 months. But then again, they haven’t been able to really talk to each other. So, when was it really that he last heard Kageyama’s voice. His _real_ voice. The one that could make Tsukishima who lived miles away go insane.

“Hey, Tsukki. You okay? Shit, man. I’m sorry.” He chuckled at that. What first was a light chuckle then turned to a hysterical laugh. He doesn’t even know what’s funny or why’s he laughing. But it’s better than bawling his eyes out. Oh wait, he does know what was funny. _He said sorry too yesterday. He had the guts to break our 5-year long relationship and said sorry._ Kuroo just looked at him with concern, sitting next to him on the floor. Tsukishima finally calmed down and scooted to the wall to lean on it. Pathetic or not he seriously couldn’t care any less. The guy he thought the love of his life just broke up with him, he might as well be dead than live with this pain that was aching inside of him. _Crap._ Now, he sounded like one of those miserable romcom lead characters. What? Is there gonna be sometime in the future where finally Kageyama said that he wrote to him every day for a year? Or will it be that they’ll see each other again and the setter said _you had me at hello_? Or would they be standing in the rain, soaked to their bones to profess their love for one another? Yeah, screw that. Screw the people who created the concept of happy endings. Screw fairy tales. Screw them all. Then he turned his attention to look at the black haired male in front of him. _Damn it._ Kuroo still kept that bed head of his with his bangs covering his right eye and he still looked so damn hot just as Tsukishima remembered him.

“How’d you know about the breakup anyway?”

“Yamaguchi told me.” The blonde frowned.

“And how exactly did Yamaguchi got this piece of information in the first place?” Kuroo scratched the nape of his neck. A gesture he does whenever he felt uncomfortable about something but like hell Tsukishima’s gonna let him off the hook that easily.

“Kageyama told him.” He closed his eyes. _Great. Just great._ He hung up yesterday because he didn’t want to hear Kageyama saying the work _break up,_ or more accurately he couldn’t bear if the setter actually did say it. Doing that, hoping that the break up wasn’t official and maybe would give Kageyama some time to think about his words and take it back. But if he called his best friend announcing their break up, then he guessed that’s their status now. There’s no backing away from it.

“You still haven’t told me what you’re doing here.” He eyed the former Nekoma captain as his lips turned upwards and morphed into a broad grin that’s far from innocent. If Tsukishima was in a clear state of mind, he’d decline whatever it was that he was thinking without even hearing it. But he’s not exactly sensible right now.


	6. Chapter 6

He shouldn’t expect anything good if it came from Kuroo’s mind. But even he couldn’t help but agree than it was helping him feel better. He planned to be that bitter old man who’s growing old in the middle of nowhere and shoot whoever gets into his property, but he’s not that heartless when there were puppies walking everywhere around him. Kuroo was nowhere in sight because he was being _nice_ and let Tsukishima has his alone time with the puppies while he went and played with the kittens in another section of the shelter.

Tsukishima bent down to rub one of the puppies under the chin who was initially running around in the playing area then stopped in front of him with his tongue hanging out of his mouth adorably, waiting for the tall male to pet him, and he did. He didn’t even try to hide his smile because oh come on, who could ever say no those puppy dogs’ eyes. Then the dark brown eyes morphed into dark blue, a familiar eye color that he used to stare into and could probably still stare into for hours if the said male didn’t break their relationship out of nowhere with the reasoning that he _couldn’t handle it._

He wanted to hate Kageyama for making him felt this way, he really does. He wanted the other male to feel the pain he had to endure right now. But he didn’t have it in him to do that let alone wish for it. He loved the setter too much to hate him. And maybe it was his fault to make Kageyama wait for him. He did say that they were going to be fine, but it turned out they didn’t. Maybe it was his fault all along to hope too much and maybe it was him who was hurting Kageyama in the first place. Was he the one being selfish? Why didn’t he think about Kageyama before agreeing to stay together? He was too caught up trying to keep their relationship going that he didn’t stop to think that maybe he was hurting Kageyama in the future. And people said that he was the smart one in their relationship. His trance was interrupted as the puppy he was petting barked at him, wondering why Tsukishima stopped petting his fur.

“Don’t fall in love. The break up sucks. At first, it sucks you in with this beautiful emotion feeling like you’re in cloud nine, then one second it throws you into this pit of doom where you feel nothing but pain.” Tsukishima said as he stroked the fluffball in front of him before standing up, leaving the shelter. _Guess even puppies can’t help._

* * *

Tsukishima stopped by his favorite cafe and ordered three slices of strawberry shortcakes that he convinced himself he deserved it. But the taste was all wrong. It was delicious as usual, but it didn’t give him that same satisfaction he used to have whenever he took a bite of any slice of strawberry shortcake. He didn’t even finish one slice, so he ended up asking for the cake to be packed as to-go. He went back to his apartment but his mind kept on thinking about Kageyama. How they’d used that exact same route home after the setter treated him for his favorite dessert, or they would take a walk at the nearby park, enjoying each other’s presence.

 _Presence._ Hmm, he always expected a long-distance relationship would be hard, but the last thing he expected as an outcome was them breaking up. Actually, Tsukishima never pictured he and Kageyama ever breaking up since the beginning of their relationship. Of course, initially the communication between the two of them needed some things to work on, but they had improved since those days and then all he ever wanted was to wake up next to Kageyama everyday and go to sleep next to him, basked in his warmth every night.

His phone rang and he declined the call immediately because he didn’t want to deal with anyone right now. Then it rang again.

“What!” He hoped it’s not his mom on the other line because he knew he's gonna get an earful ever speaking to her in that tone.

“Damn it Tsukishima, the least you could do is tell me when you want to leave the shelter.”

“Oh yeah, sorry about that. I forgot I came with you.” He seriously forgot about Kuroo.

“You for- you know what. Never mind. Where are you right now?” Tsukishima sat down on the couch and massaged his temple. He didn’t want to see anyone especially Kuroo considering their past.

“Look Kuroo, I know you're trying to be nice but I don't need a babysitter right now. So, I’d really appreciate it if you just leave me alone for the rest of the day.” He heard the other male on the line sighed as he agreed with his suggestion and hang up the call.

Just as he about to stand up to go to his bedroom, he received another call.


	7. Chapter 7

“Out!” Nishinoya shouted as he eyed the ball Kageyama just served and they all looked at the projectile of the ball as it landed out of bounds. Kageyama was off his game that day. He had several missed tosses, to anyone else it would’ve been normal, but it was Kageyama. Even one mistake was a rarity let alone several. Kageyama’s team lost the round and they did flying receives around the court as penalty just as they did during training camp at Tokyo.

As he tried to catch his breath again, a water bottle was directed to his face. He took it with a _thanks_ and saw it was Nishinoya that handed him the bottle with a face he didn’t recognize.

“Are you okay, Kageyama? You seemed off today.” Kageyama took a few gulps of water before wiping the sweats on his foreheads and looked at Nishinoya.

“Yeah, I don’t know. It’s one of those days maybe.” Nishinoya eyed him cautiously.

“Yeah, you’re right. Everyone has those days. Anyway, if you ever needed to talk, you can always talk to me, your beloved senpai.” Nishinoya grinned, going back to his normal expression he always wore before walking away to disturb someone else. He sighed. _One of those days, huh? Well whatever, I ended it anyway. No use on wailing about it now._ He felt something dropped on his hand. He looked at it to see it was a drop of liquid. And then another one fell on his hand, then another. Took him a second to figure out the liquid was his tears. He quickly ran to the nearest bathroom but fell on the floor as he bumped into someone as he tried to enter it. The tears were now rolling rapidly on his face then he was sobbing, forgetting to apologize to whoever that he bumped into. That someone handed him some tissues and he looked to see the last person he could ever wished for to witness him like this.

“Th-thanks. And s-sorry.” He blew his nose and continued to enter the bathroom to wash his face that’s probably looking like shit right now.

_“Then what about me? How do you think I feel? Do you think I’m fine over here? I missed you every day, all the time. I’m hurting too, but I willed myself because I said I’ll wait for you and I’ll be damn that’s the last thing I’ll do!”_

Those words ringed across his mind. He hated it, he always hated when they fought, he always hated when Tsukishima increased his volume to speak his mind, but worse of all, he hated that he was the one to make Tsukishima yelled and sounded in pain. He had no one else to blame but himself.

“Why are you torturing yourself when you obviously still love him.” Kageyama looked up to the mirror to see the reflection of one Miya Atsumu still in the bathroom with him.

“Leave me alone, Miya. And it’s none of your business.” He didn’t even try to hide the hostility in his voice.

“Uuu snappy, The least you could do is be nice, Tobio. I did give you tissue out there after _you_ bumped into me.”

“I _did_ say thanks for the tissue before and apologized. So, can you please leave me alone, Miya- _san._ ” Miya sighed at the boy in front of him.

“Hmm, I guess the goody two shoes name still fits you perfectly. What more I don't get is how someone so genius can be such an idiot. Hmm, maybe that middle blocker of yours is just too smart for you, guess that makes sense since y-

Kageyama turned around and slammed Miya on the wall so fast, the other setter could only blink by the sudden action. He was just being a little shit like always, but right now, he knew that what he said just crossed the line as he saw Kageyama's facial expression darkened into something that would make Lucifer looked like angel. His breathing was uneven clearly fuming with rage but then he let go of Miya to which he took the opportunity to get as far away from the blue-eyed male as possible and swore himself never to pick a fight with him again.

Kageyama let out a shaky breath still trying to calm himself down before he does anything stupid. He knew better than to get riled up by Miya’s words but that bastard just had to be a little shit that day. But then again, he was shit any other day anyway, why would he ever stop today. Kageyama harshly splashed water on his face hoping the cold liquid would clear his head. His anger and devastation eventually was released as he cried the second time that day. He held both sides of the sink as he let his tears rolled on his cheeks to the sink flowing with the tap water. _Goody two shoes my ass._

_“I’m hurting too, but I willed myself because I said I’ll wait for you and I’ll be damn that’s the last thing I’ll do!”_

He sobbed remembering those words. _Please don’t wait for me. Please find someone else. You’re too good for me Tsukishima. I don’t deserve someone as amazing as you. I seriously hope that you would find someone else that loves you and would treat you better than me. I’m sorry. I really am sorry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has got nothing to do with the fic but have you watched like the most recent haikyuu episode (season 3 episode 4) Oh man, if you haven't you should, like, right now! because it's the best, everything is perfect I feel like crying watching it because it was so good.
> 
> Back to the chapter on hand, so what do you think of Miya being a little shit? Comments and feedback are welcome.


	8. Chapter 8

“Wait, Kuroo told _you_ about the breakup, not the other way around?”

“Yeah he said that you told him and that's why I’m kinda offended that you told your ex first about your breakup and not your best friend.”

This doesn't make any sense. He _obviously_ wasn't the one telling Kuroo about the break, hell he didn't even know if their conversation last night officially made him single again. The only other person who could've known about the break is…

“Yamaguchi, I’ll call you back.”

“Wait, wh-

He hung up the call on Yamaguchi. Apparently that's his forte these days, and immediately called the one in Chicago. He looked at his watch, _I should probably lose this thing,_ as he waited for Kageyama to pick up his call. It was 10:36 am in Tokyo so it means it's 12:36 am there. And he doesn't even care anymore if he disturbed the setter’s sleep because he was pissed.

“Tsukis-

“You told Kuroo?! What the hell is wrong with you? The minute you broke up with me you don't have the right to talk to anyone related to me, not even if he’s my ex. Screw that, I get that you’re trying to get rid of me, but Kuroo? Really? Damn it Kageyama, I -

“Tsukishima, hey! It’s Noya, not Kageyama. He left his phone on the couch. But I think he’s still at the gym. Do you want me to tell him you called?” He took a few deep breaths. _Great, now that's one more person who knows about our break up._  If  _he_ _didn't already tell Noya-san about it._

“Uh yeah, Noya-san. That’d great.”

 

“It's really none of my business, but may I asked what happened?” He went silent. He was still seething with rage, he's afraid he's gonna accidentally took it out on the libero so he took a few breaths to calm himself down. He knew his former senpai was just trying to help. Noya is probably not the first person he’d go to for advices but the older male’s experiencing the same thing as he and Kageyama were, maybe he could help with that, at least it's better than Kuroo. He heard Nishinoya answering the door from the other line as he and the other person talked anxiously but he couldn't get the gist of it.

“Hey Tsukishima, something came up. I’ll call you later if you want, or not, whichever works for you. And relax, your secret safe with me.” With that, Nishinoya ended their call. Tsukishima just sighed. He certainly had calmed himself down and was about to open up about his problem. Then, he remembered something the libero said and couldn’t help but get worried.

_What the hell is that idiot doing practicing this late?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm being generous, supposed to wait a couple of hours to post this but two hours won't kill anyone. So, I still haven't finished writing yet, but something tells me that it's gonna be more than 20 chapters. But I'll see what I can do to shorten the length. Because if it goes beyond that, next week schedule's too busy for me to write. The last I wanna do is keep you'll waiting.
> 
> But yeah, hope you like it. Comments and feedback always make my day, feel free to do so.


	9. Chapter 9

“What do you mean he’s missing?” Hachiro asked clearly panicking by the way his voice spiking in volume and pacing across his living room back and forth.

“No one has seen him since the end of practice this morning. We can’t contact him since he left his phone at home. I thought he’d be at the gym since he usually spends his time there on Saturday nights, but he wasn’t there when I get there.” Mizuki, one of the wing spikers said while trying not to sound offensive to Nishinoya who was too quiet and it’s worrying everyone when he’s silent than when he spouts his anger. The libero was berating himself for being oblivious of his roommate slash kouhai’s whereabouts.

“Why isn’t Sakusa with him? Come to think of it, where’s Sakusa?”

“Sakusa-san isn’t feeling well, so he told Kageyama that he won’t make it for free practice tonight. That’s when Sakusa-san told me to go to the gym and accompany Kageyama practicing.”

“That brat. I told him not to practice all by himself. When I find him, he's gonna get -

“What makes all of you think he's in danger?” Everyone suddenly turned to the source of the voice who sounded too calm about the situation.

“I mean he's an adult anyway. He’s probably just taking a walk or blowing off some steam. It's Kageyama we’re talking about. He's not one to do anything reckless.” Everyone seemed to calm down after Miya spoke his mind. Everyone except one.

“Yeah, he's not reckless. But he’s not really in a prudent state of mind right now.” Nishinoya who was trying to be optimistic and hoping that nothing happened to his kouhai since he was told about Kageyama’s disappearance a few minutes ago suddenly said. Clearly not calm.

“Well then that's his personal business I guess. So, we shouldn't butt in on it.”

“Is there something you're not telling us Miya? Because you're absurdly calm about this. Or maybe you're just relieved that Kageyama's out of your way for the main setter spot.”

“Noya st-

“What the hell?! Okay that's low. Yes, there's rivalry, but even _I_ wouldn't do that. How horrible do you think of me?” Hachiro stood between the two trying to avoid any fists throwing that could probably occur from the way the air thickened at the moment. But that wasn’t enough to stop Noya to shut his mouth.

“Do you want me to actually answer that. Or are you just being your annoying self?”

“Noya, calm the hell down or I’m throwing you out of my place!”  Hachiro faced Nishinoya, glaring at him that basically screamed that if Nishinoya doesn’t do what he said, he will face hell in the future. Noya that was standing up until now sat down and took a deep breath. He couldn't help but worry. He had known Kageyama almost 8 years as they played volleyball since high school to university and even after that, they both got scouted by the same professional team. It made sense that he was agitated.

 

“Sorry Miya. I’m just worried but that doesn't give me any right whatsoever to blame you like that.” Miya sighed.

“Yeah never mind, I’m not exactly a bundle of joy to be around with anyway. It's not that I’m not worried, but if everyone's panicking then it's even harder to think rationally. So, anybody have any idea where he could possibly be right now?” Silence. Even Noya couldn't answer the question, and _he’s_ his housemate. The kid was basically all food and practice. They checked out every restaurant in town that they had ever visited but nothing. The gym is a no go, it was locked indicating that at least Kageyama was thinking enough to close the gym before he disappeared.

Kageyama’s phone, who was still with Nishinoya, rang and he didn't think twice to answer it.

“Hello?”

“...”

“Kageyama, please tell me it's you.” Everyone's attention was at the libero now and the room was quiet.

“Noya-san. I’m sorry.”


	10. Chapter 10

From: Sakusa-san

8.00 pm

Hey Kageyama, I’m down with cold. Won't make it for free practice tonight. Sorry kid.

To: Sakusa-san

8:02 pm

It's fine. Hope u get better soon.

Kageyama threw his phone on the couch and huffed loudly. Nishinoya was out with the others as it was Saturday evening. He didn't tell anyone about the break up that _he_ initiated, but he did tell Kuroo something.

 

_To: Kuroo-san_

_11:17 pm_

_Hello Kuroo-san, sorry to disturb your Saturday. Can I ask for a favor?_

_He waited patiently for a reply but as the clock struck midnight he just gave up. It was ridiculous in the first place to ask your maybe ex’s ex to check on your maybe ex. Tsukishima would definitely kill him for this, if he wouldn't already kill him for breaking up with him. He was tired both physically and mentally from the intense training they had to go through these past few weeks what with the FIVB Volleyball Men’s World Cup 1 _ _was coming and of course, the fight they just had like half an hour ago completely drained him. He was about to lull to sleep when his phone pinged._

_From: Kuroo-san_

_12:08 am_

_Yo Kageyama, sorry. Just got out of work. Shoot, what is it?_

_To: Kuroo-san_

_12:09 am_

_Can you check on Tsukishima for me? See if he's doing alright?_

_Kuroo again didn't immediately replied his text. Whether the guy was just the type of person who ignores texts that they hate to face or maybe he's eating or showering or who knows. Or maybe he was also contemplating why his ex’s boyfriend was calling him to check up on his ex. There's like endless number of people who could do it for him that Tsukishima the least wouldn't want to kill if he sees their face. Okay maybe not endless, there's Yamaguchi, Akiteru (bad idea), Tsukishima's mom (even worse) and the list ends._

_From: Kuroo-san_

_12:34 am_

_Did something happen?_

_Now it was Kageyama who hesitated to reply. He really didn't want to tell Kuroo about the fight they just had that maybe just broke their relationship. He should've just texted Yamaguchi instead. Now why the hell did he pulled out Kuroo's contact information before. Well too late to back out now._

_To: Kuroo-san_

_12:39 am_

_Nothing, I’m just worried about him. But please don't tell him I told you to do it._

_From: Kuroo-san_

_12:40 am_

_Sure. I’ll see him tomorrow. I know how big headed Tsukishima can get so your secret safe with me._

 

Someone knocked on the front door and broke Kageyama's trance. He opened the door to see that his neighbor, Murase, an American-born Japanese outside the door smiling broadly at him. The male reminded him of Hinata a bit. But his smile then faltered slowly when he saw the setter was looking stressed.

 “Kageyama, you look like you could use a drink.” He wasn’t much of a drinker, well most of the players weren’t, as they all have to be in shape for most of the year. But considering the past few sleepless nights, he should be allowed to have a cheat day.

 “You know what? I might just need a drink.” He grabbed his keys, jacket and went out the door not forgetting to lock after himself. He stopped a second before he got into Murase’s car.

 “Is something wrong?” Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to remember something but just gave up a few seconds later.

 “Never mind, alcohol sounds too good right now for me to care.” _I’m so regretting this tomorrow._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. FIVB (Fédération Internationale de Volleyball) Volleyball Men's World Cup is an international volleyball competition that acts as the first qualification event for the Olympic Games the following year with the top two teams qualifying. (Wikipedia)
> 
> Just in case you're confused, the timeline for this chapter and the next one is before the last chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

They drove to some place Kageyama didn’t recognize and entered a bar. After taking a few sips of beer, Murase turned to face him.

“So, do you want to talk or just get yourself drunk shitlessly?” He gulped the whole glass of beer in front of him which surprised Murase since the setter was technically a lightweight. But he was tired of keeping all of it to himself, so the only way to tell the male next to him everything, he must not be sober.

“I sort of broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. And before you ask, I was the idiot. Not him. He’s a saint. Well, when you get to know him yeah, he is. But before that, he was a pain in the ass and not the good one.” The other boy chuckled at that. Murase is one of those friendly neighbors who always greets their neighbor when they see them outside, asks how their day went, prepares extra food to give to his neighbors. So, it wasn’t a surprise that Kageyama and Nishinoya get along with him. But then again, Nishinoya is friendly to everyone as long as they’re not pissing him off or picking on his friends. Even Kageyama warmed up to the guy quite easily and as their friendship grew, he knew all too well that right now Kageyama was already drunk because the other male was too grounded to be talking about sex innuendos. 

“What do you mean ‘sort of broke up’?”

“I kinda told him that we should go our separate ways but he hung up on me before I can add anything.”

 

“What exactly did you do that makes you an idiot then?” Murase asked him when he went silent. Kageyama just stared at his empty beer glass contemplating whether he should get a second or lie down. He seriously shouldn’t be this lightweight with his high metabolism rate. But mainly, he was regretting ever opening his mouth because right now talking about it would make it feel more real. Not that keeping it a secret would make it any less of a reality. He startled when the bartender took his glass from his hands and refilled it when Murase signaled him to do so.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. I wanna say that long distance relationships are hard, but hey I’m not the one who has a boyfriend living thousand miles away, so it’s really not my place.” Kageyama took a huge gulp of the beer.

“I missed him so much.” The setter now had his head hung low. “Shit I missed him so much, I know it's an emotional pain but seriously, it's like I can feel my own heart clenched every single time and I’m suffering so much because I wanna be with him all the time. But I’ve always wanted to be a volleyball player. I thought it was gonna be fine, but-” He took a shaky breath as he looked to the ceiling trying to blink back tears. But a few tears strayed off and he brushed them off as quickly as it got out.

“Shit, I shouldn't be crying. I’m _not_ allowed to cry. _I_ ended it. It was _my_ stupid decision. Shit, it was a stupid decision isn't it.” He had both his hands covering his face, pushing the balls of his palm to his eyes roughly as to not cry for the umpteenth time. Murase scooted closer as he patted Kageyama's back soothingly to calm him down.

“Hey, Kageyama. I might not know much but I know that it's okay to cry. You loved him, it makes sense that you're in pain right now.” Kageyama's reply was muffled as his face was covered so Murase had to ask him to repeat himself.

“I love him. You said I _loved_ him, no you're wrong I still do.” 

“Then why exactly did you break it off?”

“Because if I’m hurting this badly, of course he is as well. And the last person I’d wanted to hurt is him. But now, now I probably hurt him more. Shit, I’m screwed aren't I? Shit shit shit, I’m never gonna find someone better than that, ever, but he- he’s smart and handsome and responsible and so much more, he’ll find someone better. Yes, that's it. He’ll be fine. Even though I hurt him now, he’ll be fine. He's better off without me anyway. I’m just an annoying little tyrant volleyball freak. I shouldn't have fallen in love anyway, I’m not meant to be loved. Yeah that's why my parents gave me away, I’m not worth their time and ener-

Murase now hugged him so tight, he should be in pain but his inner state was in much worse, he didn't care anyway. He didn't care how pathetic he looked crying. Murase barely managed to not cry in front of his obviously distressed friend. He's supposed to be strong for Kageyama right now because the setter just told him his deepest secret and insecurities that he’s sure not even everyone on the team knows. He knew the setter was a private person, but he never expected the very well-known and talented Kageyama Tobio also has his dark sides, also has his doubts and also has his past that made him who he became today, someone who's socially inept. But in the midst of it all, people just thought he was being demanding and controlling just because he was up a notch a level off everyone else his age, but it was him just trying to keep all of what he said to himself. Kageyama was afraid that everyone would walk away from him, that’s why he didn’t bother making lots of friends, instead keeping a few close ones.

Tsukishima had kept him grounded all these years from all the nasty voices in his head but now that they're so far away from one another, the voices was there again. Eating his soul and feeding his insecurities.

Kageyama shoved Murase slightly so he could move his hand to grab his beer glass and he gulped the rest of it before finally saying what exactly that he felt. “I’m just afraid that Tsukishima doesn't need me just as much as I need him and the last thing I wanted from him is his love for me out of pity.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to say this last chapter, but did you see what I did there? Murase? I mean, come on. I figured why not just based the guy off Murase Ayumu aka Hinata voice actor if you don't know and yes he was born in LA, USA. But other than that just fiction.
> 
> I'm still writing and I don't whether to hate myself or be amazed because somehow I find a new plot line to input in this fic and like I said it turned out longer than I anticipated. So, there's probably more than 20 chapters because now I'm writing chapter 18 and I'm no where near done. Sorry guys, please bear with me.
> 
> Comments and feedback are welcome peeps. :)


	12. Chapter 12

Tsukishima’s not really a morning person, but when Kuroo woke him up and he had walked to the shelter and back home, he’s now wide awake. He planned on getting a long nap, the weekend has been a disaster so far and the only thing he could think of that won’t make it any worse than it already was, is sleeping. As mad as he was at Kageyama for telling Kuroo about their breakup, he was still curious as to why he did that. The setter knew how Tsukishima felt about Kuroo. There wasn’t much love involved as the both of them were just experimenting at that time, and they stumbled upon each other. But they separated after they agreed on how unhealthy their relationship was and decided to break it off like civil people and still kept in touch. As good the former Nekoma captain at giving advices, Tsukishima rarely asked him for a favor or anything because he knew very well how annoying the other middle blocker was if he was asked for assistance. And Tsukishima’s level of ego was just too high to handle that kind of self-loving attitude Kuroo has for himself. So, why out of all the people they both mutually knew did Kageyama told Kuroo? It didn’t make sense at all. Kageyama wasn’t even close to Kuroo in the first place anyway. Since he couldn’t rant and ask the setter himself, he called Kuroo, crossing his fingers that the guy won’t act like a total douchebag.

“Oyaoya, I thought you didn't want a babysitter?” Tsukishima sure he felt one of his veins in his brain just burst out of annoyance. He swallowed his pride and calmed himself down before speaking.

“Why did you lie and say that Yamaguchi told you about the break up when Kageyama told you about it?” The line was silent for a second and Tsukishima smirked at that, celebrating his small victory of managing to make the other guy uncomfortable.

“Oh yeah, about that. Hmm, I can’t actually tell you that.”

“What? What the hell? Come on I have a right to know! _You_ lied to me!” He was starting to get annoyed and didn’t even put any effort to hide it.

“Why don’t you go ahead and ask him that?”

“Because he’s still practicing and he left his phone at his place.”

“Hmm, isn’t it a bit too late for him to be practicing right now. It’s almost midnight there.”

“You’re avoiding my question.” Kuroo sighed because he failed to get out of the mess he got himself into this time. _Why does Tsukishima have to be so perceptive?_

“I lied because Kageyama told me to check up on you but not tell you that he asked me to do it. I thought you guys were just having some stupid fight and he was worried so that’s why he asked me to do it. When I said about breakup, I was just kidding, didn’t know that your fight was _that_ bad. I guess a sorry is in place from me.” Tsukishima digested the words spoken to him slowly.

“So, he didn’t tell you specifically that we broke up?”

“No, he didn’t.” 

“But why _you_ though? He could’ve just asked Yamaguchi or Hinata if it was that simple.”

“Because I’m nice? Duh. That’s too easy of a question Tsukki, come on.”

“...”

“I’m sorry. I seriously don’t know. To be honest, I was also shocked to get a text from him yesterday, thought that maybe he meant to send it to someone else, but he greeted my name though.” Tsukishima sighed, half relieved, half annoyed. Relieve that Kageyama didn’t actually tell anyone about the break up. It was him who was spreading it unconsciously. Annoyed because he was still curious as to why Kuroo was Kageyama’s choice to ask for help. He said a small thanks before ending the call.


	13. Chapter 13

“Kageyama stop! You don't know that. Did Tsukishima actually say those words?” Murase asked still trying to be composed with the words that came out of Kageyama's mouth. _How can I call myself his friend, when I don't know he's been suffering all these times?_

“No, but-

“No buts. As long as he didn't say any of those things, they are not true.”

“They could be true.”

“Yes, but they could be wrong. For all we know, he might love you more than _you_ do-

“Tha-

“Stop, I’m not done!” He took a deep breath as he wiped the tears that managed to escape his eyes looking at Kageyama with his most hopeful look and smiled at him before continuing.

“First of all, you _are_ worth to be loved. Tell me if someone says otherwise because I’ll beat them to pulp. Yes, you are an amazing bundle of talent in volleyball, but it also comes from your hard work. Noya-san told me a lot about you so yes I know how hard you worked every day, pushing yourself into new horizons, learning new things trying to improve yourself when you’re obviously way ahead of anyone of your age, but that’s not good enough for you. And, even more, you are an amazing person. You don’t show it just like anyone else, but it’s there and everyone who ever been privileged to be the receiving end of it, notices it. And do you know who’s the luckiest of them all? Tsukishima, and I can bet you that he feels the same way.” He pushed himself back as he looked at Kageyama. The setter still looked as if life was sucked out of his body, but at least he wasn’t crying.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do and thanks for listening. But I don’t think Tsukishima would ever forgive me for what I did.”

“Then apologize, beg on your knees if you have too. Don’t just let him go. You said it yourself that you still love him, then tell him that. I’m sure he knows it, but since you made a mistake, then own it and promise yourself and to him that you won’t repeat the same mistake.” Kageyama stared at him but not really staring at him. He was considering his friend’s words.

 

“Murase, are you free to drive me somewhere tonight?” He asked dropping a few bills on the counter as Murase eyed him in confusion and stood up, ready to leave the bar.

“Sure, where do you want to go?”

“Home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates for this week is gonna be slow, but enjoy, hopefully hopefully hopefully by this weekend I'm done with this fic. It was suppose to be a short one and then I get here. 
> 
> Still, comments and feedback are very much welcome and appreciated, feel free to do so. Have a nice day and hope you enjoy reading :)


	14. Chapter 14

“Wait, you’re at the airport? Why- how- Kageya-

“I'm going back to Japan to see Tsukishima -shit it’s the call for my flight-

“Kageyama I -

Hachiro took the phone off Noya’s hands. And put him on speaker.

“You do realize the coach’s gonna kill you for ditching right now when The World Cup is in 2 weeks, right?”

“I know, he could cancel my contract for all I care. I need to do this captain. I'm sorry for burdening everyone but I _really need_ to do this.” The desperation in Kageyama’s voice didn’t go unnoticed by everyone as they all shared a look. Hachiro knew all too well that Kageyama was hard to convince out of things he already set his mind into, and sighed.

“Okay fine, I’ve got your back but don’t you dare get out of shape or injured cause if you do, don’t worry about the coach, I’ll kill you myself, you got me?”

“Yes. But if anything to happen, I can promise that Miya-san would be more than enough as my replacement. Noya-san please keep this from Tsukishima, I gotta go, last call to Tokyo. Bye everyone and I’ll see you all soon.” He hung up before any of them could even add anything to it as he handed Murase his phone back.

“Here, thanks Murase. I need to run, wish me luck.”

“Good luck and go! God, you're gonna miss your flight idiot.” He ran all the way through security as fast as could which was not that fast as he was in the airport and causing a ruckus would only result in him getting detained. That's the last thing he needed for the drama he already had for the past few days. 

He boarded the plane safely and 30 minutes later they took off and finally he gets to go home after what felt like forever.

* * *

After the awful 13-hour long flight, he finally got to breath fresh air and stretched his legs and back. He took a nonstop business class flight, but the setter has never been a fan of flying before, so even if they could give him the comfiest seat they have, he’d still feel sore. And finally he got to see people of his kind, talking the language that he fully understands. If he didn’t have a mission coming back to Tokyo all of a sudden, he would’ve stop at the airport’s restaurants and order anything because the so called Japanese food served in US taste like crap. With that in mind, he took a cab to drive him to their shared home, if Tsukishima still considered sharing a home with him.

He paid the cab driver after almost an hour drive and took the elevator up their apartment’s floor. As the elevator rose and pinged every time it passed a floor Kageyama’s breath gets shorter with his heart beating faster as he was worried how the other male would react when he sees him. Would he slam the door on Kageyama’s face? Would he hit the setter? He wouldn’t mind any of them because considering what he did, he wouldn’t expect Tsukishima to forgive him that easily. Then the elevator stopped moving. Kageyama took a deep breath as he waited for the door to open. _It’s now or never._

“Tsukki, the door’s open. Why aren’t you enteri-

Kageyama opened his eyes to see Tsukishima about to enter the elevator with Yamaguchi but obviously stopped his track when he saw the setter in it. He must have looked like shit what with just landed from a nonstop flight from Chicago to Tokyo and now Tsukishima’s shocked expression must have mirrored on his face. He _was_ planning on meeting Tsukishima, but he figured he’d still have a few minutes trying to calm himself walking from the elevator to their apartment unit, but now that Tsukishima was right in front of him, his mouth was dry and all words were lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter I'll go in depth about Kageyama's past, what happened that actually taunted him so bad
> 
> Again seriously, hope you enjoy it. Feel free to leave comments and feedback


	15. Chapter 15

He plopped on his bed and sighed heavily hoping to get some of the weight on his shoulder lifted by the action. Listening to Kuroo saying that the setter didn't mention their break up gave him hope that maybe Kageyama didn't want to break off their relationship after all. As much as he wanted to believe that Kageyama didn’t mean to have them both go separate ways, he couldn’t help but remember Kageyama’s words. Or more accurately his tone. He was lost, the setter was truly disconnected. The first time he heard Kageyama ever get that disheartened was when he screwed up big time during a match on their second year and the setter didn’t come to practice for a week after that. After some encouragement words by the third years, and the rest of the second years he finally came back to club but even then Kageyama wasn’t acting the same. The fire in his eyes that he had every time he held a volleyball were gone, even any attempts of insults thrown at him by the middle blocker were brushed off easily when Kageyama didn’t even gave him a glance showing his lack of care towards the matter. And no, Tsukishima wouldn’t accept that. No one except him were allowed to cause any of his teammates to get this dejected, especially the King of the Court. They had this love-hate relationship going on between them and with Kageyama ignoring every single one of his retorts, the practice was too civil for his liking.

So, one day he stayed behind telling Yamaguchi to leave before him as he took his time changing and waited at the gate for the setter. Kageyama and Hinata no longer went back home together after his disappearing episode and the short middle blocker, their manager and even the pinch server had tried everything to make him talk, but every one of their efforts resulted in nothing.

“Hey King!” Kageyama jumped slightly when a voice that he recognized all too well called him out behind the shadows. For a second there, he looked like the boy that Tsukishima used to banter with before he turned around and ignored Tsukishima. “Oi! Hey, I’m talking to you!” The setter just kept on walking.

“Kageyama!” That stopped his track and he turned to face Tsukishima.

“Took you long enough to learn my name. What do you want Tsukishima?”

“What’s wrong with you?!” Okay, maybe that’s not exactly the tone he should be using to get the other male to open up to him. Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows obviously getting irritated.

“You waited for me behind the shadows, not shady at all, followed me here and stopped me from going home and you’re asking _me_ what’s wrong? And I thought I’m the idiot here”

“Oh, so you _do_ know you’re an idiot.” Kageyama turned around and walked away, faster this time.

“Shit, wait! Kageyama! I didn’t mean that. Would you-” He jogged a few steps ahead to reach Kageyama and thanks to his long legs he did it with a few strides and held his hand up to block Kageyama’s path. “-stop. Just stop! I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

Kageyama tapped his feet on the ground showing his impatience with his hands crossed over his chest. “This better be good. Come on, make it quick. I don’t have all night.”

_Geesh the King is certainly demanding._

“I’m serious, is something wrong? You’ve been quiet and distant these past few weeks. I know I’m the last person you’d talk to, so don’t talk to me. But talk to _someone, anyone._ Everyone’s worried about you.” Kageyama was still looking unimpressed by his words. Tsukishima just waited for him to say anything or do something. If the setter wanted to walk away on him then he won’t stop him this time. He said his part already. The blue-eyed male sighed and dropped his hands.

“You guys are so annoying. I’m fine, so stop asking already.” The setter left but it didn’t take a genius to know that he’s keeping something from all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to disappoint for those of you who were waiting for the main confrontation, you're gonna have to wait a couple more days for that. Relax, this walking down the memory lane won't be as long as Naruto fillers which are endless, just enough to give you a grasp of what actually happened to Kageyama and maybe a little bit of hint of how they two got together but not so much into it, I'm thinking of maybe putting that into another prequel series of its own if you guys want it, I mean if I were to choose to read TsukkiKage fluff or angst, fluff would be my first choice to read and also to write, at least it won't break my heart writing them.
> 
> Again, hope you enjoy them. Comments and feedback are always welcome. Have a nice day people :)


	16. Chapter 16

“I tried but he said he was fine, obviously lying.” Tsukishima answered as three pair of eyes looked displeased by the answer. Not at Tsukishima, but at Kageyama for not trusting them enough to tell them his problem. Yachi, Hinata and Yamaguchi kept on discussing about how they would make Kageyama talk to one of them and it was ruining his appetite.

“Hate to break it up to you guys, but shouldn’t we just leave him alone if that’s what he wants.” Hinata gave him a look and he gulped as the smaller middle blocker stared at him with a darkened expression as if saying _I dare you to say that again to my face!_ before it disappeared from his face as fast as it came.

“Well, if it was that easy to make me stop doing something, I’m not playing volleyball today. We all know how Kageyama’s not really social with people when it comes to other things than volleyball, so it just makes sense that he won’t give in to it that easily.”

“Urm, I kinda agree with Hinata on this one. I mean, I don’t know about you guys, but there are days when I’m down and don’t feel like telling people how I feel, but the thought that my family and friends cared enough to make them bugged me that much is much more assuring than when they just leave me alone if I told them too.” All the three males looked at Yachi weirdly.

“Now, how do you expect people to know that, when you _obviously_ told them the opposite of what you wished them to do?”

“That’s right Yachi-san, you should just speak up your mind like I always do.”

“Not everyone’s like you Hinata, unlimited stamina and too loud.”

“What did you just say, Tsuk-

They were interrupted when a shadow loomed beside them and when they looked up they saw Takeda-sensei looking at them with worried eyes.

“Is something wrong sensei?” Hinata asked.

“Yes, does any of you know where Kageyama-kun is?” They all shared a look and shook their head.

“Urm, isn’t he supposed to be in his class?”

“His mother just called me and she told me that he didn’t come back from home after practice last night and when I ask his class teacher, she said that he didn’t come to class today.” Tsukishima's heart sped up at that, suddenly feeling worried because if anything, he was the last one to see him after practice last night. Did whatever he said offended Kageyama that much to make him run away from home? Yamaguchi quickly picked up his best friend’s worry.

“We could try calling him. It’s not much that we can do as class hasn’t ended, but it’s something. And maybe who knows, he just doesn’t want to talk to adults. If we hear anything, we’ll tell you sensei.”

“That’ll be very helpful. Thank you all. I’m gonna go to his class, maybe some of his classmates would know something.” With that, the volleyball club advisor left them and went to the class next door. They all took out their phone almost at the same time and dialed Kageyama’s number.

“Wait! Everyone stop! If we all call him at the same time, none of the calls are going to go through, just let’s all text him, hopefully he doesn’t turn off his phone or silent it. At least we’ll bug him to irritation to at least answer one of us.” _I hope he does answer._ “We’ll take turns calling him. Let me go first.” They followed Tsukishima’s instruction as the blonde put his phone beside his ear. The line rang, which was a good sign that at least he didn’t turn off his phone and at least the ringing masked the beating of his heart. He couldn’t help but feel worry if anything were to happen to the setter.

“What is it Tsukishima?” He almost dropped his phone when Kageyama answered, he didn’t expect for him to pick up his call this fast and now he was lost at what to say.

“K-kageyama? Geesh where the hel-” Yamaguchi gave him a look. “- wh-where are you?”

“Is it my mom? I’ll apologize to her later. Is there anything else?” Kageyama answered lazily and saying as if he did not just skip from coming back home last night, instead sounding more like he didn’t eat his breakfast this morning and it pissed Tsukishima off. Everyone was obviously worried and he was just being a jerk.

“Yes, you didn’t answer my question. Where are you?” Tsukishima asked bluntly. If Kageyama was going to be stubborn, then too bad for him because Tsukishima’s stubbornness was just as huge and if he wants to know where the setter was, then the setter will tell him.

“I’m at the local gym. Tell Ennoshita-san that I won’t come to practice today-” He went silent but Tsukishima had a feeling that the blue-eyed male was not done, so he didn’t speak as to not scare off Kageyama from talking.

“- and I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m not going to tell him that.”

“What? What the hell? I didn’t know what I expected from you but -

“I’m not going to tell him because you’re going to tell him yourself! I’m going to give Takeda-sensei this piece of information, he’s going to pick you up -

“Wait, Tsukishima. Don’t I-

“He _is_ going to pick you up and drop you here by the time club starts. Because you made everyone worried and you’re not going to get an easy way out of it. And that’s it!”


	17. Chapter 17

Coach Ukai and the rest of the third years were told about what happened and they decided that the second years would help trained the first years while they talked to Kageyama in the club room. They were practicing blocking as Tsukishima showed the first years how to jump properly and where to stand by making sure they weren’t too near to the net or too far from it when they saw Kageyama was being accompanied by Takeda and the first years stopped to look at the genius setter.

“I know he’s a genius, but that doesn’t give him any right to skip practice.”

“I bet because he’s a genius that he’s still in the club. If we were to skip any, we’d be kicked out.”

“If all of you don’t pay attention,  _ I’ll  _ kick you out and like hell I’ll let whatever you just said slipped from Ennoshita-san.” The two first years bowed and apologized to Tsukishima who were across the net from them as the last thing they’d wanted to face was the wrath of their captain. They resumed the practice for another 10 minutes before Coach Ukai, Takeda and the third years entered the gym.

“Second years, it’s your turn.” That was the initial plan. To have Kageyama explain himself or at least apologize for his behavior to the team by years as to avoid making the setter too overwhelmed from the looks of everyone. The four of them went to the club room and Tsukishima was especially nervous. He knew that telling Takeda-sensei was inevitable but was he being too harsh to the setter? What if he was actually dealing with something that he needed to solve by himself? Before he knew it, they were at the front door of the club room. Hinata held the knob and looked back to make sure that everyone was ready. After they nodded in agreement, he turned it and saw Kageyama leaning against the wall fiddling with his hands nervously. It was taped everywhere and it confused Tsukishima even more because if he remembered correctly, Kageyama never liked putting tape on his fingers saying that it would make it even harder to toss perfectly and he always maintained his nails by keeping it short all the time. Yachi cleared her throat which startled Kageyama who appeared to just realize that he wasn’t alone in the room.

“I-Is everything alright, Kageyama-kun? You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want too, but if you need a shoulder to lean on, you can always count on me. I may be small, but I’m sure I’ll manage” Yachi gave the setter her brightest smile and Kageyama had to blink back tears from the love she gave him.

“Or me! I have a sister and I babysit her all the time, and she said I’m the best. So, maybe I can give you some brotherly love Yamayama-kun.” Kageyama laughed at that and the heavy air dispersed because it’s a rare sound indeed and they all witness how the light in his eyes returned slowly as he smiled at the aspiring ace.

“Kageyama, I have my share of feeling down and depressed over things, not that I’m saying that it’s the same as yours, but yeah, just like Yachi-san once told me, sometimes you would feel much better once you let it out. You don’t have to keep it to yourself, you have us, and we’re not going away anytime soon. That, I can promise.”

They all eyed Tsukishima who was pretending that he didn’t notice at all how there were 3 pair of eyes glaring holes to the side of his skull waiting for him to say something. As he was about to open his mouth, Kageyama spoke.

“Thanks, everyone. I-I really appreciate it. And I’m sorry for being a burden these past few weeks. So, please accept me as your teammate again.” He bowed at the last sentence to which Yachi just push him back upwards as she embraced him with tears falling down her cheeks, then Hinata hugged him and jumped to ruffle his black hair to which he pushed the shorter male away and scowled back to his usual expression. Yamaguchi hugged him and patted his back, whispering words of reassurance that they would always accept him as a teammate. Kageyama would’ve cried right then and there at his words if it hadn’t been for Tsukishima staring at him with his annoyed face. The setter willed himself to apologize to everyone and not get in a fight when he was the one to skip on them for more than a couple of practices, but looking at Tsukishima’s face, he seemed more than pleased to betray his own words.

“Well, at least you’re aware that you’re an idiot.” The others were calling out Tsukishima’s name now for being too stubborn in the situation. Kageyama had to take a few deep breaths to calm the boiling of his insides. Well, he didn’t expect Tsukishima to ever be nice to him, but he at least hoped that the middle blocker won’t give a hard time either.

“You’re an idiot because you made everyone worried. Not just us, but your parents. That’s selfish even for you! These three tried to help you but you ignored them and decided to handle what it is you’re handling by yourself.” Kageyama by now was looking at the floor, couldn’t mutter a single word because everything the blonde said was true and he deserved all of it. He deserved to be shouted at and he glad that someone did.

“Stop thinking that we’re Kitaiichi players because we’re not and you’re not  _ that _ king anymore, so we’d never leave you if that’s what you’re afraid off.” Kageyama jerked back a bit when he felt strong arms around him then realizing it was Tsukishima finally embracing him. Tsukishima was the only one out of the four of them who were taller than setter and it felt good to just lean his head on Tsukishima’s shoulder like he was made perfectly to fit under Tsukishima’s arms. Tsukishima let him go and Kageyama had to force himself not to sigh out of disappointment from the loss of the warm embrace. They all turned to the door to call the first year to enter when Tsukishima felt a tug on his shirt to find Kageyama was pulling at it slightly.

“I-I need a favor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't supposed to be posted until tomorrow, I just realized I pressed the wrong button, well I guess we'll see how generous I'll be tomorrow, either you'll have to wait for Sunday for another update, or I'll post the one for Sunday tomorrow instead. No promises, since it was my bad, I can say the next update is the last chapter with this flashback then we'll be back with the main... wait for it... confrontation.
> 
> Comments and feedback are more than welcome :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is longer than usual, enjoy...

The middle blocker was the last one about to exit the room when he was stopped by Kageyama, so their other friends didn’t know that Tsukishima was being held back a while.  
  
“What is it?” He said with the gentlest voice he could muster because they all said just now that the setter could talk to any of them if he wanted to, and if Kageyama wanted to talk to him, god knows why, then he’ll hear him out. He was more than happy to lend a pair of ears than seeing Kageyama in his current state for any longer.  
  
“You can say no, if you don’t want to know. I-I just -urm-  
  
“King, I’m all ears.” He led Kageyama to the floor where they sit next to each other leaning against the wall so they didn’t have to look at each other, just in case if Kageyama gets uncomfortable under his stare.  
  
“This might probably be a small matter and I’m just being a stubborn kid.” He took a deep breath and Tsukishima didn’t interrupt him because even he himself hated talking to others about how he feels.  
  
“I had a fight with my mom about some stupid stuff the morning we had that match, the match that I screwed up. During the heat of the moment my mom told me that I was adopted, that my real parents gave me away when I was a baby an-and, oh man, this is ridiculous.” His voice broke but he willed himself not to cry in front of Tsukishima.  
  
“After that day, I was looking for my real parents, going back to the hospital I was born at, calling some people that knew other people on how to reconnect kids with their biological parents. That’s why I skipped practice for a week after losing the match. Besides not wanting to face the guilt of causing the team our loss, I was busy going everywhere. And yeah, after a few weeks of waiting, I got a call yesterday that they found them and they’re both still together. They live at the other side of town, but I couldn’t will myself to go and meet them but I looked them up to see what they looked like and I guess I get my eyes from my European dad. I was afraid that they wouldn’t like me. So, I decided to just stalk their place after practice, and that’s what I did, after you called me out last night.”  
  
“And when I get there, I saw there was this happy couple relaxing in their lawn as they watched two kids, a boy and a girl just few years younger than us throwing balls into a hoop. For a second, I thought maybe they would take me back with open arms because if they enjoyed having kids, maybe they would like to have me too. Maybe they made a mistake 15 years ago for letting me go. I was about to come up to them when I heard the woman, supposedly my mom called her son out for playing too harsh. She called him - she called him, Tobio.” Kageyama closed his eyes, again calming himself down.  
  
“She replaced me with someone else.”  
  
“A mother replaced her son that she didn’t want at one point of her life with another one that easily.”  
  
“I was replaceable.”  
  
He said each sentence slowly as if convincing himself the reality.  
  
“Guess that shouldn’t be a shock because I was replaced by another player in middle school and I thought that you guys would do the same eventually if I avoided all of you. It’s stupid, I know.” He chuckled lightly not really finding anything amusing but just trying to get the bubble in his throat that was threatening to make him cry, out of his system.  
  
“Everyone has something that gets to them more than anyone else, and I won’t judge you nor would anyone in the team will, for finding it personal about this matter. Because it is a personal matter. My aunt and uncle planned carefully on how to tell my cousin that she was adopted just in case she would take it badly. I could only imagine how you must’ve felt when you knew by accident.” Kageyama was still playing with his hands when Tsukishima turned to look at him.  
  
“Did your mom ever hit you?” That stopped Kageyama from paying attention on his hands as he turned to look at Tsukishima with furrowed eyebrows confused by the accusation.  
  
“What? No! Where did that come from?”  
  
“Nothing, I was just asking.” Kageyama squinted his eyes as he warily looked at Tsukishima.  
  
“I know my social skills aren’t the best, but you don’t just ask someone if their parents abuse them, Tsukishima.” The taller of the two laughed at that.  
  
“Nah, you certainly don’t. But if she’s not abusing you, you don’t just go and not come home after practice king, she’s your mom. Even if not biologically, she has taken care of you for 15 years, I bet she berates herself every day for telling you about the adoption the way she did and more, she’s a mom, she worries. So, instead of feeling bad about the people that gave you up, maybe you should just focus on the people who wants you, like your real parents and the team. Hate to admit it, practice’s kinda quiet without you and Hinata at each other’s throat.” And they both laughed at that. It was a beautiful sound. Kageyama’s laugh. It’s a shame that he was keeping the beautiful sound to himself. But considering his current situation, Tsukishima doubted even the setter had the chance to hear himself truly laugh lately.  
  
They were silent then but neither had the urge to fill it because it wasn’t an awkward silence rather a very comforting one. Kageyama was feeling much better after letting out what he felt for too long and getting some encouraging words from Tsukishima, someone who he wouldn’t imagine he would’ve confided in a million years, yet they were there, next to each other and not trying to set the building on fire.  
  
“Can I ask you something though?” Tsukishima asked suddenly breaking the silence.  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“Why me though? Not that I didn’t want to listen but we’re not exactly -urm-  
  
“Get along with each other?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“It’s because that we don’t get along with each other is the reason I talked to you. I mean, you wouldn’t lose anything if you speak up your mind if you disagree with me. I figured that I needed someone who could tell me directly if I’m doing something wrong, not subtly. I needed someone to yell at me like you did before so that I can snap my stupid ass back to reality. I guess, I could tell Hinata because that guy is so blunt, but he’s too loud and probably can’t keep a secret for the life of him.” Tsukishima chuckled.  
  
“Yeah, that’s probably true. But since we don’t get along, don’t you think I might abuse this information to sabotage you in the future.” Tsukishima asked as he turned his head to look at the boy next to him still playing with his hands. It made him looked younger like this and something inside Tsukishima softened up. Kageyama just smiled to himself hearing the words came out of the middle blocker’s mouth.  
  
“There’s not much to sabotage if my reputation wasn’t clean in the first place anyway, so feel free to do so. But I know you’re not that much of a jerk to do that. Or am I wrong to believe that?” Kageyama, still smiling, turned his head and looked at Tsukishima. He could feel his heart skipped a beat. Their faces were inches away and he knew that Kageyama’s eyes were blue but now that he was looking from this close, it was a beautiful pair of deep sea blue that sucked him in the minute he stared into it. And the smile, that smile would be the death of him. He forced his gaze away and cleared his throat while getting up to his feet as he moved to the door.  
  
“I-I’m gonna call the first years now.” Kageyama nodded at that, the smile still not disappearing and the setter probably didn’t even realize he was doing it which made it even more precious. Before he closed the door behind him, he peeked at Kageyama one last time. “And your secret safe with me, king.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I finished writing the fic and after much consideration, I feel that posting the next four chapters all together will be the best course of action here since they are all so interconnected and yeah. Enjoy yourself.

“Yamaguchi, can I cancel our plans?” Yamaguchi just nodded his head, couldn't mutter a single word witnessing the scene in front of him. Tsukishima turned to go back to his apartment but Kageyama apparently was caught in a trance as he was still glued inside the elevator but came to his senses when it pinged to close the door and exited it just before it closed on him. He looked so confused and worried, to Yamaguchi he never saw the setter masking that expression before.

“Go talk to him Kageyama. I know you have your reasons.” That seemed to help Kageyama if not much, at least a bit as he gave Yamaguchi a brief smile and walked back to his apartment unit. The door was unlocked but Tsukishima was nowhere in the living room nor in the kitchen. So he looked at the other possible place, their bedroom, only to find Tsukishima packing his clothes.

“Ts-Tsukishima? W-what are you doing?”

“I’m packing. It's your place to begin with, it makes sense that I leave.” Kageyama immediately blocked Tsukishima’s path from the closet to his luggage to stop him.

“Wait, stop. Let me say something.” But Tsukishima didn't listen to him and just ignored the setter while collecting his stuff and throwing them into his bag.

“Kei, please. Listen to me.” Kageyama said with shaking voice and it stopped Tsukishima but he didn't turn around to face him.

“I'm sorry, I was an idiot. You were right I was just tired and exhausted and-and just being insecure. We were so far away from each other and I missed you so much that it hurts, so badly. And-and I didn't want you to feel pain just as I did. So I did what I think was right, but I was obviously wrong. So please, stop packing and don't leave me.” Kageyama was barely keeping himself together. Tears to him were cheap tricks that he won't use and he forced himself to stay composed. However, it wasn't enough because Tsukishima who didn't even glanced back at him after what he said just resumed what he was doing as if it was nothing. And Kageyama could feel his heart started to fracture at that.

“Kei, did you hear me? I'm sorry.”

“I heard you.” Silence.

“What can I do so you’ll forgive me.” Tsukishima sighed.

“I’m not mad at you and I think you're right. I now realized we don’t work anymore and I think we should break this off and go our separate ways.” He zipped his bag and walked past Kageyama with his luggage. Kageyama’s cheeks started to feel wet as his tears slowly dropped but he dried his face immediately. He followed Tsukishima to their living room where Tsukishima was packing his family photo frames and his books.

“B-but why? I-I love you Kei.” He said just loud for Tsukishima to hear him. Tsukishima turned to him still not looking at Kageyama.

“And I love you too. But like I said, you were right. This won't work. I can't go on a long distance relationship for very long. And I’m sorry I hurt you in the 5 months period we were away from each other.”

“I said I was sorry! I didn't mean what I said, why aren't you listening to me!” He was shouting now and the tears were not stopping.

“No! _You_ aren't listening to me! Yes, we can still decide to be together but for how long Kageyama? How long would I have to wait this time for you to tell me that _you can't handle it_ again? Because it doesn't work! I can't not have you with me all the time! I want to wake up to you and go to sleep with you in my arms, I want to have you play with my hair when I’m down and eat strawberry shortcake with you but I can't, not with you living thousand miles away from me! I can't Kageyama! You were right in the first place to think that we should break up before you flew five months ago, so to that I’m sorry because I was selfish thinking that we were this amazing couple like in some stupid movie, but I’m not amazing and I-I can't.” Tsukishima grabbed his bag and went to the door.

“I’m cancelling my contract.”


	20. Chapter 20

“What?!” Tsukishima turned around the minute he figured out what Kageyama was talking about.

“I'm cancelling my contract because I want to be with you too!”

“No! No you're not doing that!”

“I can and I will.”

“No. You. Won't!”

“I’ve already made up my mind!”

“Oh, really? Tell me one good reason why?” He dropped his bag and looked at Kageyama expectantly with his hands over his chest.

“I gave you one! It’s y-

“No! You're not giving up your dreams for anyone! Not for me! Not for anyone! That's absurd, even you know that!”

“How can you say that? How can you act like what we had was nothing? I am willing to sacrifice my career for you because I figured I can't live without you!” Tsukishima rubbed his temple, he managed to stay calm when he saw Kageyama inside the elevator, well barely, but what the setter just declared was beyond reasonable.

“No, you realized that because you're heartbroken. It will heal. You’ll find someone else and move on.”

“You don't know that.”

“Yeah you're right, I don't. But I _do_ know if you cancel your contract and we resume our relationship, you're gonna regret it in the future. You’ll blame me for letting you let your dream go and I will never forgive myself for doing that to you. So no, but if you still decide to cancel your contract, don't even bother consider me as a friend after this because the Kageyama Tobio that I knew and I fell in love with was passionate with what he does and he’s not going to let it go for something as superficial as… as _this_.” He just flailed his arms around him, meaning their relationship because he couldn't muster himself to say the word _love_. If anything, their love was something he always put on the top. However, when he saw the look on Kageyama’s face, he knew he made a mistake.

“Superficial? _This_ is superficial? What about the last 5 years? What about everything you said? Has it always been superficial?” _Of course not!_ He clamped his mouth shut instead, looking away from Kageyama who didn't even bother to stop himself from crying and it took everything inside Tsukishima to hold his stand.

A few seconds of silence, as Kageyama's sobs stopped and Tsukishima knew this was it.

 

“Tsukishima.” _Shit._

“I'm sorry.” _Shit._

“For everything.” _Damn it._

“And I'm sorry for wasting your 5 years.” He could feel tears prickling inside his eyes. _Damn it, damn it, damn it._ Why was he being this stubborn? He was never stubborn when it comes to Kageyama, not since they started dating, but he held his tongue just listening to Kageyama’s words. And there it was. The tone. The _lost_ voice.

“I'm going back, so just, use the apartment instead of crashing at Yamaguchi's. You can sell it if you want, you know where the deed is. And yeah I’ll be out of your way.” He looked at Kageyama after trying so hard to avoid doing so and what he saw was the last thing he’d wanted to see. He’d wished Kageyama was crying or sobbing, but no, this was worse, he has seen this before, yes when they were second years, the face where Kageyama gave up and _shit_ , he didn’t plan on this. It was supposed to be a simple break not _this_. Okay, maybe not simple, but he wanted to end this peacefully, and the least of all was seeing Kageyama felt like he wasn’t needed anymore. He knew firsthand how the setter would act, he knew it, so he did what he wanted to do since he first saw Kageyama in the elevator before Kageyama distant himself again.


	21. Chapter 21

If his heart fractured when Tsukishima didn’t even sneak a look at him, it broke to pieces when Tsukishima seemed to think that what they had wasn’t worth the sacrifice. To say that it didn’t pain him would be idiotic, but he felt it before, and he never wanted to feel it ever again but here he was, standing in front of the man that he held dear so much, to think that he would have his heart destroyed by this person was more than heartbreaking. But then again, it was his fault, he shouldn’t blame it on Tsukishima, if he had been stronger a little bit and didn’t suggest the break up on that stupid night, maybe he wouldn’t have to stand there barely managing himself as he held on the remnants of his heart that was shattered. And he stopped crying, his mind stopped and there goes all his care for the world. He apologized to Tsukishima, for everything, for wasting his time, told him to use the apartment as his mind started counting how much would he have to pay to get the earliest flight back to Chicago because there he has volleyball, something that never disappoints him.

He walked past Tsukishima but before he could open the door he felt his hands being tugged hard as his body turned with the force. The next thing he knew he was looking into Tsukishima eyes. His used-to-be-favorite golden brown eyes and the taller male was saying something to him but he didn’t hear anything, or more accurately he blocked out everything and he closed his eyes hoping that Tsukishima would get it and leave him there.

“-yama. Kageyama! Hey! Tobio!” The name tugged at whatever that’s left of his heart and he opened his eyes. He saw the worried look Tsukishima had turned somewhat relieved and the next thing he knew, he was hugged by Tsukishima. He was lost.

“I thought you never loved me.”

“That’s not true and you know it! I never said that. I love you, so much and you know it.” Gosh, he missed that, listening to Tsukishima’s voice as he professed his love to him. He missed _this_. Kageyama returned the hug as he clutched onto Tsukishima’s shirt and sniffed his scent, he missed that too. He leaned into the taller male and yes, he missed this more, he missed how he fits perfectly with Tsukishima and they dropped on the floor still holding each other. His shoulder felt wet then he realized it was Tsukishima who was crying.

“I miss you Tobio.” And this, this was all he wanted. This was why he agreed on living thousand miles away, and this was why he flew the distance to get his boyfriend back. Because Tsukishima was the one for him.

“Then, let’s try again. I’ll be better, I’ll beg the coach to let me off some weekends so I can spend it with you.” Tsukishima sobbed at that as he shook his head.

“No, I’m sorry, I won’t let you do that.” Kageyama pushed him back. “But why, am I not worth the sacrifice, Kei?”

“Stop! Stop saying that. Of course you are. Just, stop. Stop making me feel like I’m a bad guy here because there’s nothing more that I wanted than you being happy.” Tsukishima took off his glasses as he wiped his face but his tears were not stopping. He looked at Kageyama and smiled as sweetly as he could because he made up his mind and no, this wasn’t him being stubborn or wanting to have the last say, but it was for their own good.

“You, are loved and wanted and needed and irreplaceable, never think otherwise and I will always be there. Call me if you ever needed to talk.” The tears that stopped before rolled again on Kageyama’s cheeks because he knew where this was going and he won’t like it. “We’re young, I’m probably not even the one for you, even if we felt like there’s no one else in this world that we wanted to be with than each other. But there is nothing in this world that’s going to be worth enough for either one of us to sacrifice our dreams. I’m not saying what we had isn’t worth it, no, it is, so if we are made for each other, we’ll see each other again in the future and we’ll fall in love again. But if we meet then and we’ve met someone else, then we were never meant to be.” Tsukishima said between hiccups as tears rolled down his cheeks fast. The pain his heart had to endure to say such words were immense and Kageyama was no better. They didn’t want to do it, but they had to because what Tsukishima said was true. Tsukishima took a deep breath to stop himself from crying and breathed a few more times before he managed to compose himself. He took Kageyama’s face with both his hands as he wiped his tears away, then he brushed the setter’s bang that were covering his closed eyes back and he kissed his forehead gently. Kageyama calmed at the gesture, it was something Tsukishima does whenever he was down and just like a switch, he stopped crying and they connected their foreheads together staying there on the floor.

“Can I ask for a favor?” Kageyama asked still not moving his forehead from Tsukishima’s forehead after a few minutes of silence.

“Anything.”

“Can we go on a last date?”


	22. Chapter 22

Tsukishima laid the blanket on the hill. They were an hour outside Tokyo, somewhere a little suburban to get out of the busyness of the city. This was their favorite date spot because it’s silent and deserted. The night was clear, so it was perfect to stare into the vast darkness of the sky that’s decorated by the blinking stars. They bought some fast food before coming there to have as snack and they settled down when everything was set.

They talked about work, what they had been doing the past five months, and their annoying coworkers. Kageyama showed off his improved English speaking skills and Tsukishima applaud him for that. The air was light as if this wasn’t their last date, they agreed to just treat it like any other dates and they were more than happy to comply.

After finishing the food, they laid on the blankets as they looked up the sky.

“If you connect those together, it looks like a crown, befitting for you _king_.” Kageyama laughed and until today, that’s his favorite sound. If Tsukishima could, he would record it and make it his ringtone.

“That brings back too many high school memories.”

“Speaking about high school, isn’t this your sister’s third year in high school.”

“Yeah, it is. She keeps on texting me to get her a Shawn Mendes concert ticket. Whoever, he is. What about your brother?”

“Oh, he’s still as annoying as ever. I already feel sorry for his kid.”

“Well, at least the kid’s gonna have you as an uncle, so he or she’s gonna be fine.” Kageyama looked at his watch and sighed.

“What time is your flight?”

“In four hours, the drive there is gonna take two hours, so we probably have an hour left.” The light air before changed. It was time, the time to separate, time to say goodbye, but it was not the time to feel sad again. They did that before, so Kageyama moved to his side propped on his elbow, looking at Tsukishima with a smile.

“One last favor, I promise.” Tsukishima looked at him, mirroring his smile and just nodded his agreement because he knew his voice will betray him if he say something.

“Can I kiss you?” And that was the only consent Tsukishima needed as he pulled Kageyama’s face to his and they connect their lips together. The sensation was warming his insides and tingling every senses he had. It was supposed to be a chaste and quick kiss but apparently he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. He didn’t want to kiss him earlier because he knew that it will be harder to say goodbye, he knew it, he did it before, and he didn’t like it one bit before and he knew he wouldn’t like it later when they part. But since they were going their separate ways, this was the last kiss they could give each other, touch each other and get lost in it. Tsukishima rolled on top of Kageyama and touched the skin underneath Kageyama’s shirt, rubbing circles to his side. He trailed the kiss down Kageyama’s jaw, then to his neck nipping on the skin there, earning him a moan from the setter.

“K-Kei, we n-need, we need to stop.” At that he pushed himself upwards as he looked down at the male below him. His blue eyes shining with the night light and he smiled before giving a last quick kiss on his swollen lips and stood up. They cleaned up and drove to the airport. The whole drive they were holding hands but Kageyama only looked out the window not glancing at Tsukishima.

When they arrived, the gate for Kageyama’s flight was open so he readied his passport and looked at Tsukishima. They both smiled, hiding the pain in their hearts.

“Call me if you need someone to talk to.”

“You too, don’t be a stranger.” Then they part, without anything as much as linking their pinky together.

Tsukishima took out his phone and with trembling hands he typed a message.

To: Nishinoya-san

Please take care of him for me.

Kageyama took his window seat and blocked out the flight attendant's mandatory safety instructions and closed his eyes. _Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry._ Before he knew it, he was fast asleep.

When he arrived home, Nishinoya was in the living room watching tv which surprised him.

“Noya-san, did coach canceled training today?” Nishinoya shook his head then Kageyama looked at Murase who came out of the bathroom looking at him with sad eyes.

“Tsukishima texted me.” Kageyama dropped his bag on the floor and smiled as his tears started building up.

“O-oh. He di-did?” He hiccupped between words as both other males led him to the couch and the minute he sank down on the couch, he sobbed loudly hiding his face under his arms while Nishinoya and Murase hugged him from his sides and stroked his back.

“W-we broke up. Tsuk-kishima and I broke up.” He spent almost the next hour getting comforted by both his close friends. He hoped that what they decided was for their own good, because if it wasn’t, then all the pain that he had to endure right now was all for nothing. But he trusted Tsukishima’s judgment, and Tsukishima was never not fair and never not analyzing things before he decides on things, so if the blonde thought it was for their best, then maybe it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I suggest take a breather, drink something, go watch some cute animals video or rewatch some Haikyuu episodes before reading the last chapter. For better emotional effect of course. But I can't stop you if you wanted to keep on reading, hope you have fun.
> 
> That's it. This is the last break up fic I'll ever write because I cried writing this and I hate myself for going through with writing it. Screw my desire for this type of angst.
> 
> Oh about the sister, I'll explain more on the prequel not wanting to spoil anything. Why Shawn Mendes? Nothing really, I just happened to be listening to him while writing this, not a huge fan of his, don't really hate him either.
> 
> But I hoped all of you enjoyed it. Comments and feedback are appreciated and I'm sorry if I ruined your day or anything.


	23. Chapter 23

It was the men’s final volleyball match for Tokyo Olympics, and almost a year and a half the last time Kageyama step foot at Japan which was about a month ago. Everyone was breathing heavily, the exhaustion was at their max from playing full 5 sets what with them playing over deuce almost reaching 30 mark, which was too high as the last set was supposed to end at 15 points. But he trained hard for this, they all did, unfortunately for them so were their opponents which was the last indoor volleyball Olympic champions, Brazil. The point was on their side when the opponent server hit an out making it 29-28.

It was Ushijima’s turn to serve and the ones appointed for serve receives got in position waiting for the lefty killer serve and Ushijima didn’t disappoint when the serve he hit was received but disarrayed their opponent’s position but their setter managed to follow the ball and tossed to their ace who spiked it easily. Before it could touch the floor, Nishinoya saved it and Mizuki followed it with Hachiro spiking the ball only for it to get blocked by their opponents. Ushijima saved the falling ball and the crowd went wild because it was an incredible save while Kageyama went to the ball’s landing trajectory as he jumped to toss it. His brain worked as he eyed the spikers, Ushijima was quick on his feet with Mizuki waiting at the back line, Hachiro on his left and Takumi was already running from center ready for a quick attack. With one swift movement he swiped the ball with the palm of his hand to the opponent side of net and the ball fell in slow motion in his eyes as he looked at opponents trying to save it. Unfortunately for them, neither were expecting a dump at this end of the game so no one were near him enough to save it and watched as the ball touched the floor and bounced a few times before it rolled off.

The referee appointed the point to Japan’s team side and ended the game. Everyone ran towards Kageyama and huddled on top of him as they toppled on the floor praising Kageyama on his last attack. They shook their opponents’ hands and thanked the crowd before going back to their locker room. When they entered they were shocked to see someone in there already as the male ran towards Kageyama and hugged him almost putting the setter off balance as he stumbled back a bit.

“Congratulations everyone, Kageyama, that last attack was amazing, geesh you’re still amazing!” Kageyama let him go as he smiled from the praised still feeling euphoria from their win.

“Shouyou! You’re back!” Nishinoya stepped ahead and gave a brief hug to the ginger.

“Yeah, the doctor said I’m all good to play now.” Ushijima smiled at the short male and patted his back.

“That’s good to hear.” They all sat down and cooled off from the game, with Hinata’s presence their exhaustion dissipated as they laughed hearing the ball of sunshine talked about his recovery journey. Kageyama of course was more than happy to see his best friend back again. They no longer call them both a combo because Hinata has fulfilled what he said back when they’re first year in Karasuno, which was to become an even better player than Kageyama and truly the now Little Giant stuck to his words. He might not have Kageyama’s pinpoint ability but the wing spiker can now toss as good as any setter out there making him an all-rounder. They were interrupted when there was a knock on the door and it opened to reveal Asahi looking sheepishly and as if on cue Nishinoya ran towards the door and jumped to the taller male and they took it outside. Kageyama could only smile at the scene. At least those two worked it out.

“Hey, Kageyama, I think I saw Tsukishima watching the game just now.” He looked at Hinata with too hopeful eyes as the ginger whispered to him the information not wanting the others to hear him. He didn’t know what came to him as he stood up abruptly shocking everyone and left the room not even answering Hachiro and their coach’s questions. It was stupid, he didn’t even know where Tsukishima was, the stadium was huge and it was packed with people as soon as he exited the players’ lounge. Then his vision blurred when camera flashes towards him with people beginning to flood him questions. They all were trained on how to handle reporters so he politely refused to answer any of them as he apologized and went the other way. He took a sharp turn on the next corner he saw to get away from people and calm himself down. He shut his eyes closed and breathed heavily from running which was a bad idea since he just cooled down a few minutes ago.

“This is stupid. He might’ve left already.”

“Or he might be next to you.” His eyes shot open and looked to his right and was meet with a pair of golden brown eyes that looked at him with the same fondness he used to give him before, and the smirk, _shit_ the smirk that could make his knees go weak.

“That was hell of a game king, you never cease to amaze me when you do that dump of yours.” He shuffled closer to the setter who was still too surprised to move.

“W-what are you doing here?” Kageyama couldn’t hide the happiness in his tone asking the question he knew the answer to.

“Well, as much as the TV you gave me can show me an HD view of you, nothing can beat the real deal. Anyway, it was in town and I had some connections to get tickets.”  Kageyama was smiling widely by now with one eyebrow was raised.

“Does that connection happened to be Hinata?”

“Hmm, maybe.” That makes sense, since Tsukishima wasn’t supposed to be inside the lounge because it was not open for public and was exclusive to the athletes, unless you have connection to one of said athletes. _I’ll thanked Hinata later._

“So…”

“So?”

“What exactly were you planning on doing inside the lounge Tsukishima Kei, I could call the security and you can get reprimanded for trespassing the players’ lounge. Unless you can convince me otherwise.” He looked a bit confused when Tsukishima reached the inner pocket of his jacket and handed him an envelope to which he eyed and Tsukishima raised both eyebrows, giving him permission to read. He read it, eyes getting wide from the words and read it repeatedly still not believing what it said.

“Is this for real?” Tsukishima nodded and he hooked his hands around Kageyama’s waist. Kageyama threw his hands around Tsukishima’s neck and they hugged as the warm inside of him bloomed. Their feelings for each other never faded one bit even when they haven’t seen each other for over a year.

“When are you going then?”

“It says the position opens next month, and since I’ll be in charge of overseeing the works of others, I have more flexible schedule and the place I work at when I checked was...

“Two blocks away from our training center.” Again he nodded and could only take in the shine in Kageyama’s blue eyes and he looked down on his lips and just like that Kageyama kissed him slowly at first then fell into a familiar rhythm. Tsukishima parted much to the setter displease and looked at him.

“I should probably ask you out on a date first.” Kageyama laughed and nodded at that.

“Yeah, since I was the one that asked you out before.” They had their foreheads together with smile still plastered on their faces. Suddenly, Kageyama choked a sob and Tsukishima eyed him worriedly.

“Woah, what’s wrong? Relax, I _am_ going to ask you out, you don’t have to cry.” That earned him a push on the shoulder as they both smile.

“No idiot. I’m just happy that you really waited for me.” Tsukishima looked at him fondly and took the setter’s hands into his.

“I said I would didn’t I. Of course I’ll wait. Even if I don’t get the promotion to move to US, I’ll still wait here, forever Kageyama.” He took the setter face with both his hands, his thumbs stroking gently Kageyama’s jawline and kissed him tenderly on the lips before whispering just millimeters away from the setter’s mouth.

“I’ll wait forever for you.” And they stared into each other’s eyes, their love never left from their hearts as if they never broke up. Maybe they shouldn’t have broken up, maybe they could work it out. But it didn’t matter because right now they’re together again and nothing’s gonna change that as they just proved to one another that yes they will wait for each other.

 

"So, Kageyama Tobio, would you like to go on a date with me?"

"I certainly would love to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is people, some fluffy closure. Hope you're satisfied with it. I ran out of ideas this week and I totally forgot about Tsukkikage day, hopefully the inspirations come back soon because Tsukkikage week is coming up and I still haven't finished more than half of it and of course this prequel.
> 
> As always, comments and feedback are more than welcome and thanks for reading, peeps :)


End file.
